


Metafiction

by Jeralith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Consensual, F/M, Shower Sex, Vanilla
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-16 07:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5820346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeralith/pseuds/Jeralith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winchesters messed up and now have Metatron bound to a maybe too nosy civilian, Alice. While the boys + Castiel are out looking for a way to undo the bind, Alice is left behind in the bunker to deal with Metatron alone. This will be a slower build up covering an undecided multitude of chapters that the author really hopes doesn't go pass the number 10. More will be added here as more is written, really just winging it right now.</p>
<p>(12/23/17)I've gotten back to this after an unreasonably long hiatus. I'm attempting to smash through the rest of the story so I can dump multiple chapters. I've tweaked a few things and will probably reupload Ch 1. No major story changes, but some small errors with wording/spelling/etc.</p>
<p>***Spoilers for anyone who hasn't finished Season 10. Slight spoilers from the first half of Season 11.***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blame the Winchesters

**Author's Note:**

> I personally am not a fan of OCs, but the Supernatural world has a very sparse selection of female characters of which none I felt fit the mold I was going for comfortably.

The heater had half melted Alice’s frozen face by the time she reached the turn off for the dirt road to the bunker. Tapping her fingers on the steering wheel in tune to her radio she turned her gaze to the white covered landscape. Not noticing her own tapping, mind already lost in deep thought, Alice found herself scowling. December started tomorrow, but she was ready to trade in one Christmas for an earlier spring. She has had twenty-one of them and anticipated many more, surely if enough people traded in Christmas...

The world around her was somber, covered in white and gray death and adding onto her usual downcast mood. Compared to the bright oranges, yellows, and reds of when she first moved into the garrison, this was beyond depressing. Her only saving grace was the oddly mild winter making her travel less panic inducing. Middle of the country was North enough to have snow, yet too far South to be caught in the white, city dampening miasma she had left behind.

Glancing at her rearview mirror the only thing she expected to see were dead trees, an empty road, and the upper half of her mousey looking face. Short, squat, and completely invisible to the world with her plain Jane brown hair. She had flown under the radar at school and at work. “Just get noticed enough to get by” she always told herself and she did so again as she unconsciously adjusted her glasses. This same talent she had perfected in middle school was also the same talent that got her into the trouble she was in now. Well, all the action was a few months passed, but the more she found out the more the small of her back tingled. A small sigh left her lips as she recalled what got her here.

The riots in Ferguson, that was where it all started for Alice. She didn’t live in Ferguson, but she lived near enough that when the riots started she could be there in under 30 minutes. It was a brilliant plan really, drive there, park a mile or so away from the fringe of the action, grab a large backpack, then loot a bookstore or two. She knew her plan was in poor taste, but really she was just saving the books. If the riot went for too long everything would be burned down anyway. There had been no haste in getting there either, who else would be looting books?

With the dark on her side Alice had made her way to multiple stores completely confident in going unnoticed. She had planned on making a few trips, but decided to map out the best bookstores in the first trip and see what the media didn’t show. In between stores she couldn’t help but notice a different kind of commotion happening down a nearby ally. All around her were looters, fires, people yelling for justice, but the four gentlemen down this ally appeared to be fighting with each other over, a kiss? The tallest one, a man with shoulder length sandy brown hair was the loudest.

“Dean, you drew the short stick fair and square, you have to finish the seal.”

“Yeah well that was before Cas told us the spell had to be sealed with a kiss. No way man. I am not kissing Metatron.”

Alice was about to walk away figuring this was some weird gay club initiation, but she was curious and three out of the four were kind of hot. 

“My understanding of the situation is that you find this act to devalue your sexuality?”

The guy with the black hair and a trench coat spoke up. Compared to the relatively relaxed clothing of the other three he stood out like a sore thumb.

“Yes, I mean no, I mean, who would want to kiss this man anyway?”

The person called Dean was gesturing to the shortest man in the group, face scrunched up in disgust. The shortest man looked like one of those nightcrawlers that filmed accidents for news stations. Ballcap, stained clothes that fit his pudgy body poorly, the medium camera in one hand. Alice was certain hundreds of people like him were here tonight. He seemed to be pulling, or itching at his neck an awful lot.

“Dean, Cas can’t do it because he’s an angel so that just leaves you and I.”

“Don’t I get a say in any of this?” The short man spoke up.

“No.” The other three men spoke in unison.

The short man shrugged and went back to picking at his neck. At this point Alice had walked part way down the alley and was hunkered behind a dumpster. “Seals” “Angels” “Spells”, there was no way she was going to not learn more. What she didn’t know was there was a rip in her backpack and that rip had been growing bigger all night with the weight of books. After a few more minutes of listening in, the bag finally gave out. Alice yelped in shock as the books came crashing down behind her, the staccato thuds echoing through the alley. All four pairs of eyes were on her as she jumped out in surprise from behind the dumpster.

“Who the hell are you?”

Dean started to walk towards Alice, but with a speed that shocked all involved, the short nightcrawler man beat him to her. He stood next to Alice grabbing her shoulder and pulling her in. Up close she could smell he hadn’t showered for days, smell the bad breath pouring from behind his crooked teeth, and felt an overall urge to get as far away from him as possible. Alice tried to wiggle away, but the man had an iron grip on her shoulder.

“Now she isn’t my first choice of women. No offense lady, you are no Grace Kelly, but she is definitely higher on my kiss list than you three.” He jabbed a pudgy finger at the three other men.  
“Metatron don’t you dare.” Dean started to walk forward again.  
“Nuh uh uh.” Metatron wagged a finger. “You guys could use a new female sidekick anyway. Ever since you lost Charlie….”

“Don’t you dare say her name you dirtbag!”

“I don’t know why you are getting mad at me. I’m not the one who got her killed. Anyway this way none of you will have to be bound to me, free to do whatever your hunter heart's desire, and I won’t have to kiss a man.”

Metatron sounded smug as if he had already won. Alice had started to shake more from anxiety than fear as she realized her mistake. This ‘Metatron’ man was no looker by any means, but Alice was almost a kissless virgin. There was this one boy in middle school, but…

Metatron’s lips were cold and dry against hers as she shut her eyes against the intrusion. Praying no tongue got involved the kiss was over almost as soon as it started. Metatron pulled away with a comedic and over the top kissing noise.

“There! Now can we all go home?” Metatron flung Alice towards the other three men. “Try not to get this one killed this time. You know, now that our fates are bound.”

Alice sighed again as she pulled into the garage. She had been given the quick details in the alley, told to move into the garrison, and was left behind with the nightcrawler at the end of a whirlwind of a week she was still feeling whiplash over. Lots of rules, lots of shouting, and almost no one smiled over anything. Alice felt self conscious over the sudden amount of attention she was getting and was saddened when the feeling never went away. How did pretty girls handle it? Although, to be fair the attention Alice got was mostly irritation and constant reminding.

The Winchesters, Sam and Dean, had accidentally found a collar made from the hide of a hellhound that was then enhanced to bind the person who wore it to the first person they kissed. The only reason they had found it was Sam had been going through boxes with some sort of special pair of glasses on that could see hellhounds. They planned on ‘trying it out’ on Metatron to use on someone else later, but their plan quickly backfired when the collar didn’t come off even before anything was said. Their best idea had been to finish the seal and try to break it later.

Grabbing the bags of books and groceries from her back seat, Alice felt her head start to spin as she tried to piece it all together again. The part that related to her now was if Metatron died so did she and if she died so did he. That's why they moved her to ‘the safest place on Earth’. The idiots didn’t know how to remove it either. At one point a man named Crowley had meet them in town to look at the collar, but even he came to a loss. At the current moment Castiel was out looking for someone while at the same time keeping an eye out for anyone, or thing that might undo the binding spell. The Winchesters claimed they were doing the same thing, but Alice got the feeling they really weren’t and if this whole mess ever got solved it would be a true miracle.

“I’m back!”

Alice announced herself, but she knew the only other person home would be Metatron. Marv, actually, Metatron was his ‘slave name’. He did a lot of bellyaching over that one. Everyone else still called him Metatron, but everyone else didn’t have to live with him. Alice got busy putting away the perishables before she made her way towards the hallway with the bedrooms. While four of their rooms were close together, Metatron had been forced to take the last bedroom in the hall. Alice knocked a few times on the closed door.

“Marv, I have your books.”

Alice crossed her arms as she waited for Metatron to take his time to open the door. He was a very dramatic man and even alone he had to make a dramatic production out of everything.

“Oh how wonderful!”

Metatron opened the door a full minute later, reading glasses hanging from his neck resting on a stuffy plaid sweater and silhouetted by the chaotic background of all the other books he had ordered stacked haphazardly throughout his room. He unceremoniously snatched the bag from Alice’s hands.

“Don’t get too excited, I only have four out of five. The heavy snow up North delayed one of their transports.”

“I hate it when I’m inconvenienced by something that used to be so trivial!” Metatron waved his empty hand about aimlessly. “If I only had my grace back this would never be an issue.”

“From what I’ve been told, if you had your grace back you would be twice the jerk you are now.”

Alice hadn’t connected all the dots, but oddly someone had written a series about the Winchester’s lives and even odder Alice found herself reading them.

“Don’t get mouthy with me now, I was almost starting to warm up to you. At least you have enough respect to call me Marv.”

Metatron managed to start the sentence angry and end it in a whine. Alice did her best not to roll her eyes.  
“Anyway, I’m going back to the bunker library to try to read up on the collar. You should actually try to help sometime, you know, since you can understand all the languages.”

“Ah yes, even that demon tablet, which by the way, probably has what we need on it. A shame I’ve started to forget what I wrote, but it has been so many years.”

“I’m starting to think you don’t want the collar off.”

“Just now starting to think? If you were thinking you would just command me to do your bidding. I guess I just lucked out that you happen to be such a meek girl.”

Alice rolled her eyes and walked away. During her first week at the bunker Metatron had started one of to be many verbal assaults on Castiel. Part way through she had gotten tired of hearing it and yelled ‘stop’, which shockingly made Metatron freeze mid word. The root word for ‘stop’ was ‘sto’ which was Latin for ‘stand still’. Unfortunately for Metatron the word ‘go’ didn’t undo the spell causing him to stand frozen for five minutes while Alice looked up and tried other Latin words. ‘Solvo’ was the word. With Metatron back to normal they had spent the next two hours trying different Latin words and word combinations to maybe get the collar off. They even tried a second kiss, at Castiel’s insistence, but nothing worked. All they got out of it were a few command strings for Alice to use if she wanted.

Dean wanted her to freeze Metatron and just leave him, but Castiel wouldn’t let that happen citing that Metatron’s body wasn’t actually frozen in time and he would still require food and other basic human needs. Alice could never bring herself to use any of the words again. After a few pranks pulled by Dean to get Alice to unknowingly say words, Metatron retreated back to his room and refused to leave unless neither of the Winchesters were home. The way they randomly popped in and out caused Metatron to spend 80% of his time alone in his room.

Alice didn’t mind it at first, being a bit antisocial, but after a few months of the same walls and only a day a week to escape them she started to wish Metatron would talk more. She felt closest to Castiel who had an oddly deep understanding of pop culture for an angel. His ability to pop in and out of places made it easier for him to juggle responsibility while at the same time answering Alice’s questions. The angel’s lack of filter still caught her off guard.

Instead of going to the library, Alice went to her own room to get on her computer. Except for some close family, her social life was mostly online through various blogs, video games, and chat rooms. Most of them knew she had moved, but she had managed to sidestep the reason why. Her parents were perhaps too enthusiastic with her moving out of the other half of their duplex. She claimed she had gotten a unique job opportunity with a small startup company that had scouted her. The Winchesters had warned her 100 times to tell no one the truth. They would make sure all her expenses were covered.

Around dinner time Alice got a text from Sam letting her know they wouldn’t be back for a week at least. Alice liked Sam, he was tall, quiet, and actually seemed to know what sympathy was. She had Dean’s number, but he only called or texted to tell her to research something. Castiel had tried to explain it was because of her connection to Metatron. “He killed Dean once, the man holds a grudge, don’t take it too personally.” That left more questions than answers. Getting up, Alice knocked on Metatron’s door again.

“Your bff’s won't be home for at least a week. I’m going to start up something for dinner. You should be safe to come join me.”

Alice wasn’t a fantastic cook of any sort, but she could follow the instructions on the side of a soup can. “No dairy” had been the only preference from Metatron the last two months. To her understanding he had only been human for a little over half a year. Part of her was intrigued and wanted to test his new humanity, the other part hoped he was also allergic to everything else. Whatever seething hate she might have had has since been tempered away, but Alice could relate to Dean almost in the way she held a baseline of irritation towards Metatron. She didn’t blame her situation on him, Alice knew it was mostly her fault for not minding her own business, but Metatron could at least try to be nice.

Twenty minutes later Metatron had been coaxed out of his room by the smell of vegetable and beef soup. Alice was pouring herself a bowl when she saw Metatron poke his face around the corner. Her first reaction was to mock him leaving his room, but she recalled the hundreds of times her parents did that to her.

“You’re just in time. Feel free to grab a drink from the fridge, I’ll bring the soup out to the table.”

Metatron didn’t respond, but grabbed a soda from the fridge making his way to one of the tables in the main room. Alice joined him moments later with two hot bowls setting hers opposite of Metatron. She was prepared for a quiet dinner, but part way through his second bowl Metatron spoke up.

“You’re right you know.”

“What?” Alice had been lost in thought and didn’t think she heard him right.

“I have it made here. My life is almost back to the way it was before the Winchesters found me. Mostly alone, someone to fetch me books, no archangels on my back. Only this time I have the annoyance of being human. The mortality of it all chills me to my bones. I may never get my grace back and as soon as those boys figure this collar out, and they will trust me, they always seem to get those things right, I’m kicked right back out the door onto the cold street. You’re my meal ticket, my key to an easy rest of my life however long or short it maybe. I’d rather be dead and all I have to do in exchange is accept the fact you have some moderate control over me.”

“I uhm, maybe I can help you with that later. You know, after all this is over with.”

Alice didn’t know what to think about the sudden outburst of openness. At her core she was a nurturing person but what she had heard about Metatron left her feeling guarded.

“Don’t try to play me. I know you don’t care, no one cares about me. No one cares about Marv and who can blame them? I was, still am, a terrible person and if I had the chance I would do everything all over again.” Metatron laughed to himself.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Alice waved her spoon at Metatron. “Unlike Dean it’s easier for me to be nice to everyone. He’s probably so fit because he spends all his energy trying to keep up the same hatred for years.”

Metatron started to laugh choking on a mouthful of soup.

“You are so right! That’s why Sam is always on a diet and exercises all the time. He’s too nice for his own good.”

After a good laugh and more small talk Alice cleaned up the bowls and put the leftover soup in the fridge. Looking in the freezer she thought about grabbing a bowl of chocolate ice cream, but felt it might be a little unfair. Metatron had decided to not rush back to his room, he had grabbed a book to start reading in the library area. She didn’t want to eat it in front of him, but also didn’t want to go hide in her room after the months of grief she had given him to get out of his.

“Have you tried sherbert?” Alice asked Metatron walking back to the study area.

“Hmm? Oh, no I haven’t.” Metatron looked up from a book in not-English. “To tell the truth I haven’t tried much of anything. Beyond a rare meal here and there I lived off of ramen and PB&J.”

Alice scrunched up her face, but realized his ‘life’ has covered less than a year and not the decades his looks suggested. It was still weird to her that angels couldn’t taste food.

“It’s weird to buy something cold during the winter, but I’ll get some next time I go out. It’s the closest alternative to ice cream I can think of.”

“Again, that’s nice of you, but really unnecessary. Have you seen the way poor Castiel watches everyone else eat? I don’t want to end up like him after I get my grace back. Looking at something I used to love knowing I will probably never get to experience it again.”

“Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”

“Alfred Tennyson, one of mankind’s most celebrated poets. If I were to be stuck to a crummy life as a human that’s what I would do. Write things so profound people will remember me 200 years later.”

“Why not do that anyway?” Alice had sat across from Metatron and was now looking at him confused. “Write a book. Maybe instead of trying to play with people’s lives write yourself a legacy.”

“Then be forced to see my old work decades later? It would be terrible. Once I get my grace back I would be forced to watch humanity celebrate an eventual juvenile version of something that could be so much more.”

“What if you never get your grace back?”

“It’s a bit early to make that call.” Metatron stood up putting the book back. “Starting to write now would mean to admit accepting my human fate and I abhor the idea. No offence to you, you were born human and have never known anything else, but I hate it. This existence is awful and I hate everything about being human.”

Metatron turned sharply walking back to his room leaving Alice with a bad taste in her mouth. Maybe it was naive of her to think of Metatron as just another jaded human. Going back to her own room Alice sent Castiel a text asking for time to talk, nothing urgent. She didn’t want the angel to flash in on her while taking a shower. His concept of privacy and personal space was somehow worse than Metatron’s despite being on Earth for years. She blamed the Winchesters.


	2. 10 Seconds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried not to take myself so seriously with this chapter and the following chapters. Serious moments are serious, snozberries taste like sonzberries, and I've cracked a few jokes.
> 
> Disclaimer: My flavor of humor might not be your flavor of humor. Feel free to ignore it and just enjoy the naked bits. We all know what you are really here for :)

“While I admire your willingness to help Metatron I believe he is a lost cause.”

Alice had Castiel meet her in the garage, someplace Metatron would never go, and now the trench coat angel was looking at her in mild confusion.

“Maybe, but what do you think will happen after we get the collar off? What if we never get the collar off? Ignoring my life and my needs, do you honestly think Dean will let Metatron live here until one of the two of them dies? Have Sam fake some college documents, get Metatron an easy job in an accounting firm someplace low key, and get him out of Dean’s line of sight.”

Alice had been arguing with the angel for almost a half hour now and her stockinged feet were starting to hurt from standing on the concrete floor of the garage. Sure Metatron was terrible, but Alice had had an epiphany last night that made her realize she might be stuck here. The idea that this mess might last the rest of her life, which was now tied to however long Metatron had to live, terrified her. She wanted to build up a savings, travel the world, fall in love, have a few kids, the whole American dream. She had herself fooled into thinking the whole ordeal would only be a year or two, but what if it isn’t? Alice continued after Castiel didn’t respond.

“I know you guys aren’t keeping us locked up for my benefit. You could have easily locked Metatron away and let me live my life, but what if I died? Then you would lose an asset. I don’t have everything figured out, but I do know Metatron knows things you guys need to know.”

“Alice, I…”

“Castiel don’t. I know the three of you do care whether I live or not, I’m just not as important as Metatron. I get it, really I do. How can I compete with the former voice of God?”

Alice was now hopping back and forth between her sore feet. Next time she will remember to at least grab a pair of slippers. Castiel had shown up at seven in the morning and Alice didn’t realize she was awake until it was too late.

“I’ll see what I can do. Until then, maybe, take Metatron with you into town. As long as Sam and Dean are away on a long hunt. He can’t run away from you and if he causes any trouble you call me. This will get you some of your freedom back and at the same time maybe give Metatron perspective. Show him a better version of being human than what he started out with.”

Castiel sighed thinking back to his short time as a human. Sure it was pretty bad at the start, but he had started to get a hang of it. Although he did have the Winchesters backing him up part way through. He let a sad smile slip as he remembered the time he thought he had a date. He made an alright babysitter. Alice knew none of this as she eyed the angel.

“The mall. It’s the first of December and it would make me feel better to do some shopping with Winchester money. Anyway, it’s cold, my feet are cold, and I need coffee.”

Alice walked back into the main part of the garrison immediately catching the soul lifting scent of brewing coffee. When she turned to see if Castiel would be joining her the angel was gone. She shrugged, as she shuffled her way into the kitchen. Metatron was standing cross armed glaring at the coffee maker. With his messy hair, loose shirt, and sweatpants he looked like Monday personified. The correlation made Alice laugh.

“Good morning Marv. Sorry for laughing, but you look like you need a pot to yourself.”

Metatron turned to Alice his face unwavering from the permanent frown he awoke with. Alice had always made the coffee and never the whole month had he woken up before noon.  
“Where were you?”

Metatron had given Alice a look over. Her own disheveled hair and sleep clothes implied she never left the garrison.

“Talking to Castiel. We are better on privacy, but timing is still a work in progress.”

Alice had debated on not telling Metatron about Castiel’s visit, but it would probably make it easier if he knew.

“What did that feathers for brains want?”

Metatron had pounced on the coffee pot mid sentence, cup in hand, the moment it went ding. Alice grabbed her own cup before she answered.

“I asked him to come by. I had some issues I needed to air and wanted to see if you could finally leave the garrison.”

Alice blew on her coffee while she watched Metatron attempt to drink his. He winced, but didn’t let the heat keep him away from the caffeine rush.

“Who ever said I wanted to leave?”

“Me. I did. I’m tired of you moping around. I can relate to never wanting to leave your room, but the world isn’t as bad as you think it is.”

Alice leaned against the wall ready to argue Metatron until his face was blue. She may be shy and prefer being alone, but Alice also had a mean stubborn streak. She narrowed her eyes as she sipped her coffee. Metatron stared back gulping down his coffee before slamming it down on the counter.

“Fine. I guess I should take any chance to get away from the Winchester castle I can.”

Metatron walked back to his room leaving Alice mildly stunned. She had built herself up for an argument that never came and was left edgy with excess energy. It would wear off in a few minutes, but that didn’t stop her from yelling down the hallway.

“Take a shower and at least try not to look homeless, Marv!”

Two hours, two showers, and two more cups of coffee later, Alice and Metatron were on their merry way to a mall a few towns over. Two hours one way was nothing to Alice, but Metatron complained the whole way. “Nothing to look at” “It’s cold” “Poetry about winter is a lie” Alice sighed outwardly when they finally got off on the exit to the mall.

25 days until Christmas was still too close to expect a decent parking spot. Alice had proper winter clothes, but nothing in the Winchester wardrobe was big enough to fit around Metatron. Alice made a mental note to make sure to get him something later as they made the mad dash to the entrance of a Sears. The sea of people inside the mall was half the reason Alice picked it. It will make it harder for anyone to recognize them, well, Metatron. No one in Kansas would know who Alice was.

“Well now what?”

Metatron was looking unamused, his back against a tool display. He was rubbing his hands up and down his upper arms in a dramatic fashion.

“I haven’t been to this mall before, so I guess we can just look around and see what’s here. Usually the bigger ones have at least one or two bookstores.”

Metatron unfolded himself at the mention of a bookstore letting Alice lead the way. Outside of the Sears they found a map of the mall that told them they were on the second floor out of three. There were two bookstores, a Barnes and Noble, and another one that had a local name. The B and N was on the first floor while the smaller one was on the third. Alice suggested they try the smaller one first.

Up on the third floor, and in the bookstore, the crowd was significantly smaller much to the relief of the both of them. The only downside was the bookstore had an obvious Christian vibe to it. Alice could care less, but Metatron scowled heavily at the end cap of Bibles and Christian self-help books as he made his way to the fiction section. Alice went to look casually at the science fiction section. She had a guilty pleasure for the cheap romance novels, despite knowing they were trash, but she wasn’t about to let anyone who knew her find out. Going through the bookstores was more for Metatron than herself. Given the books he kept ordering, Alice has had plenty of time to wander bookstores. She could hold back this one time and browse something that wasn’t shameful smut.

She idly picked up a book as she decided to people watch the few others in the store. It was easy to see over the small, five foot shelves. Alice guessed there was roughly ten other people in the store including the sole cashier. A few employees were popping between the small sales floor and the likely smaller backroom, but their slow pace implied the few customers were buying even less.

“If you were any taller it would be obvious you were people watching.” Alice started as Metatron had come up behind her more quietly than a man his size should have. “At least pick up a book you have read before to fake it.” Alice mentally adjusted herself from the small shock.

“What does it matter if I’ve read the book before?”

“Incase someone were to ask you about it of course!” Metatron smiled smugly crossing his arms. His voice low enough for the bookstore, but still excited as if he was just handed a gift.

“It’s a bookstore not a bar. Who would approach someone in a bookstore?” Alice, feeling annoyed, went to put the book back on the shelf.

“I am, right now.” Metatron gestured towards the book. “Beautiful planet.”

“What?”

“Did you not even bother to read the title of the book?” Alice looked at the book. Jupiter. Big bold letters just under the writer’s name. Ben Bova. “Of course being fiction there probably aren’t giant whales swimming in its depths, but you never know.” Metatron gave Alice a wink. Alice rolled her eyes in response putting the book back.

“Don’t tell me angels know what’s on other planets.” Metatron responded with another wink before walking backwards, spinning forward, and gesturing towards the entrance.

“Shall we?”

“You didn’t want anything from here?”

“So soon? The store isn’t going anywhere, we have Winchester money, and the entire day ahead of us.” Alice raised an eyebrow at the sudden change of attitude. He must have read or seen something to spark the upswing in mood.

“Fine, let's get you some clothes.”

Alice followed Metatron and his sudden motivation through multiple stores. It was at the third clothing stop that Alice noticed a couple of old women talking and pointing at her and Metatron. A sudden wave of self-conscious panic rushed over Alice as she realized that it looked like they were on a date. It took all she had not to die on the spot. For a moment she had been almost enjoying the day out, minimal social anxiety. Now she realized the only thing keeping this from being a date was vocalizing it. She had never been out with a guy before and now all dreams of a first date died alongside her bubble of happiness.

Not only did they appear to be on a date, but one that was almost taboo. There was the chance they looked simply like father daughter, but those old lady’s scowls told her otherwise. Then it hit her. Metatron realized this from the start. Alice scowled at the changing room door waiting for Metatron to come back out.

“I can’t believe you.” Alice put on her best scowl as Metatron walked out and did a dramatic twirl. The clothes he picked were unremarkable, but at least he didn’t look like a dumpster fire.

“That I could look this good? Flattery won't work on me, dear Alice, but don’t let me stop you.”  
“You know what I mean...” Oh god, Alice could feel herself about to spiral into the kind of stereotype she hated. She wasn’t even sure why she was mad. Metatron wasn’t obligated to tell her his thoughts. “... I mean never mind.” She uncrossed her arms letting them fall limp at her side in defeat.

“Oh I know what you mean and I’m shocked it took you this long to figure it out.” Metatron closed the short distance between them putting his mouth to her ear, “Now what are we going to do about it?”

Alice felt her face flush fast enough her cheeks hurt. Unlike the last time they were this close Metatron smelled like peppermint. Her first thought wasn’t to get away, but to see if he tasted like… Metatron backed away as fast as he closed in before she could finish the thought. The whirlwind of confusion left Alice stunned for the second time in one day.

“I uh, um…” Metatron laughed as Alice attempted to respond before walking back into the changing room.

“Too easy, Alice. Too easy.”

Alice hadn’t felt comfortable enough since the whole fiasco started to pleasure herself. She would indulge a thought here or there, but between the teleporting angel with no boundaries and being in an unfamiliar place, she never worked up the nerve. Now she realized Metatron had her on an edge. She rationalized it wasn’t him she was attracted to, he just happened to be the closest male. It was only natural. With some confidence restored and her sense of self left intact, Alice shook off the encounter and readied herself for whatever else Metatron may have planned.

Five bags of clothes, two coats, and one lunch later Alice was nearly convinced Metatron had nothing planned after all. He didn’t walk too close, he didn’t say anything crude, he held completely normal conversations that were enjoyable. Unless his plan was to enjoy a normal day. Alice did a dramatic fist shake in her head. How dare he be a pleasant person! All they had left now was to go back to the bookstores.  


Metatron picked out a few old books, a few new books, and a vinyl record. “For the record player”. Alice didn’t notice one back at the bunker, but what did she care. It wasn’t her money they were spending. For herself she got a small bookmark. It was kinda dopey with holographic roses and butterflies on it, but she promised herself to only use it with those cheap romance novels. Something small to remember today. She would never admit having enjoyed today out loud.  


The ride back home was a little more quiet. Metatron read a book while Alice fought down the occasional wave of motion sickness just from thinking about reading in a car. She had planned on going back out with Metatron tomorrow, maybe check out other places near the mall, but the weather wasn’t looking good. Large, fluffy flakes of snow started to fall an hour from the bunker turning into denser chunks of blinding white as they got closer. Alice was glad she wouldn’t have to worry about any other cars on the road, but at the same time they would be screwed if the car got stuck.  


Luckily they made it to the bunker in one piece, if not nearly in twice the time it took to get to the mall. Alice lectured herself quietly in her head about checking the weather. She knew better than that. If they had left any later.... She shook the thoughts as her and Metatron unloaded the car. Between the two of them it only took one trip. The temperature hadn’t dropped yet, but neither one wanted to walk more than they had to.  


Alice expected to drop the bags she had off at Metatron’s door and be shunned away. She was rather shocked when he flung the door open and gestured for her to put the bags on his bed. She wasn’t sure what to expect, despite knowing all the rooms looked the same, and was rather shocked it looked so plain. Metatron had lined his books along the far wall leaving one or two scattered, but after keeping it to himself for so long Alice expected something more.

“Are you going to keep staring, or set my bags down? We don’t have all day.” Alice snapped back to reality and placed the bags down.

“The day might almost be over, but it sounded like we are stuck here for a few days. The weatherman on the radio didn’t sounds optimistic.” Alice moved back towards the door feeling uncomfortable in the room.

“Optimism is overrated. Now.” Metatron clapped his hands, “I had fun today, but I’d appreciate it if you would get out.” There is was, the snappy Metatron Alice knew. A part of her was relieved because that meant he had nothing planned, but a small part felt hurt. She didn’t want some life changing bond, but she felt they had broke a few barriers down today.

“Fine. I’ll go make dinner. Probably chili, it’s chili weather.” Alice turned around and walked briskly towards the kitchen. The chili was canned, nothing fancy the small kitchen couldn’t handle. Alice ended up eating alone in the library being careful not to spill on the book she was reading. It was amazing all of the things she was learning. A part of her wanted to scan it all and place it online and why not? No one would take it seriously and those who knew better would then have better access. It’s a shame the Winchesters didn’t seem to care. Maybe that’s what Alice will do with her time. It’d be a waste to never have access to these books again. In five days, weeks, months, years she will get the boot and never have access again. As annoying as the situation was, she couldn’t help but to acknowledge the huge opportunity.  


Between thoughts of ignoring the quest for answers to the collar and how to quickly scan the books, Metatron made his way into the library. Alice was shocked, but tried not to make it obvious. In one hand was a bowl of chili, the other the record he bought earlier, and a book tucked under his arm. After setting the bowl and the book down, Metatron made his way to a tall side table with a lamp on it and cleared it off. With a quick flip of the wrist he uncovered the unmistakable shape of a phonograph. It was there in plain sight all along and Alice never knew. It made sense someone like Metatron would know what it was.  


Being careful, Metatron dusted off the record player and placed the record he bought into it.  
“I’m sure The Men of Letters have their own records somewhere, but I don’t trust their taste in music.” Metatron spoke to Alice knowing he had her full attention. After some fiddling and winding the crank the light keys of classical music filled the room. Metatron stood still for a moment taking in the music. “Technology these days is amazing, but it will never be able to replace the pure sound of vinyl.” Metatron spoke softly as he made his way back to his chili, book, and settled into a chair.  


Alice quietly finished her own chili trying not to watch Metatron from behind her book. Even lacking angel powers he seemed to have picked up a thing or two with age. She did her best to focus on reading taking each sentence slowly. A few pages in she realized she managed to not look up. Ten points for Alice! She immediately deducted those points when she caught Metatron moving out of the corner of her eye. He had stood up from the chair and made his way to the center of the room.  


Taking a few small steps Metatron worked himself up into a waltz matching with the music. Alice had set her book down and watched, politeness be damned. Paying closer attention to the music, Alice realized it gave the library an antiquated feel. Sure it was old, but something about the music brought depth to the walls around them.  


“Join me.” Metatron paused holding out a hand.  


“I don’t-”  


“No excuses, I’ll lead.”  


“But I can’t-”  


“No cannots! Dance!” Metatron whispered harshly as he yanked Alice from her seat and spun her into position. “Watch my feet, it’s not complicated.” It took Alice a moment to orient herself after being taken off guard by Metatron’s agility once again. How the heck did he move so fast?  


Left, right, left, right, gliding with every step. Metatron had placed her hand in his, another on his shoulder, and his other hand on Alice’s hip. Alice could feel a blush start to creep into her face. She didn’t have time to think about it before the song changed to something faster. Not missing a step, Metatron picked up the pace twirling Alice along with him. She was starting to feel light headed and giddy, her heart racing a mile a minute. Forgetting where she was and who she was with she could feel her body relax and start to have fun.  


Alice felt like she had been pulled into one of her smut books. Only this time the woman wasn’t a strong, middle aged business woman and the man wasn’t a long, blond haired foreigner with a mysterious past. As the song reached a crescendo Metatron spun Alice catching her in a dip as the song ended. Their eyes met, there was a fire behind Metatron’s eyes that sent chills down Alice’s back as the record reached its end.  


“That wa-” Alice went to thank Metatron, but was cut off with a kiss. Alice felt her brain short out. Should she pull away or give in? She felt her body heat up and and wanted nothing more than Metatron to touch her more, but shame crept up behind those thoughts. It was the situation they were in. She didn’t find him attractive in the slightest. She couldn’t put a finger on why she felt shame, but it didn’t matter. Metatron pulled away standing Alice back upright.  


“I better go.” Metatron stepped back, straightening out his shirt. He started to walk away, but Alice grabbed his shirt.  


“Wait, you don’t have to.” They stood still like that for a moment before Metatron spoke up in a hushed whisper.  


“If I don’t leave now we will end up making a huge mistake.” Alice let go of his sleeve and looked at the ground.  


“What would make it a mistake?”  


“You don’t want this”, Metatron gestured at himself, “I didn’t want this, but when I had my grace it didn’t matter. Then I got sentimental and never switch to a newer body, but that’s not the issue here. Even if I looked like the idiot Winchesters it would be a mistake. I’m a terrible person. I know this and I still choose the wrong side.”  


“It doesn’t have to be that way.”  
“Being idealistic doesn’t suit you. If you think I will change you are sorely mistaken.” Metatron started to walk again not looking back. Alice had a choice to make and for the second time in her life she acted without thinking.  


“I don’t want anything serious, I just want you to fuck me.” Oh god, oh god, oh sweet baby Jesus himself. Lord have mercy. Alice immediately regretted everything she had done in life to lead up to this moment. If she could die of embarrassment she would. Necklace be damned, no one else would ever find out about about this moment if they were both dead. Metatron stopped and spoke low and slow.  


“I am going to count down to ten. If you are still there when I reach one you better be prepared for the consequences. If not, then we will pretend today never happened. Ten.”  
Alice was frozen in place. This was her chance to run away and hit reset.  


“Nine.”  


Just a quick escape to the kitchen, maybe grab some tea and she would be free.  


“Eight.”  


Wait for him to go to his room, make her way to her own, risk Castiel finding her masturbating later  


“Seven.”  


Or just stand here and risk Castiel finding them naked later.  


“Six.”  


She had forgotten about Castiel. What would he think?  


“Five.”  


What would anyone think? That’s why she felt the shame.  


“Four.”  


She was more afraid of someone finding out than anything.  


“Three.”  


That was it, Alice was about to let her insecurities cock block her.  


“Two.”  


Or would it be cunt block?  


“One.”  


The moment Metatron turned around Alice rushed up and kissed him hard throwing her hands around his neck. He didn’t resist, putting his own hands on her waist. Breaking the kiss Metatron gestured down the hallway.  


“Shall we?”  
Alice nodded not trusting to open her mouth again. Metatron led her to his room and shut the door behind them. Alice sat on the bed a nervous wreck. Once their clothes are off and the sex started she was sure her nerves would calm down, but the foreplay gave her anxiety.  


“I have a confession.” Alice looked at her feet. “This will be my first time.” Alice squeaked not sure Metatron had heard her. Metatron stayed by the door and sighed.  


“Of course it is. Is it too late for me to let you back out?” Alice nodded her head. Metatron sighed again.  


“FINE. It will nearly be my first time as well. Not much use for sex as an angel…”  


“Who was-” Metatron cut her off.  
“Tsk tsk tsk, let’s maintain some level of secrecy between us! It keeps things interesting!” Alice wanted to point out there was nothing but secrecy between them, but she saved that thought for another time.  


Metatron sat down next to Alice placing one of her hands on his pants. She felt her brain short out as it tried to comprehend the hardness underneath his jeans. “That will be inside of you later tonight.” Metatron had whispered into Alice’s ear.  


Alice thought it impossible to blush any harder. It was to the point her cheeks hurt from the blood rush. This was it, Castiel catching them be damned. She leaned into Metatron as she lightly rubbed her palm down the slope in his jeans towards his zipper. It took some fumbling, but Alice managed to undo his belt, undo his button, and zip down his jeans far enough to see a bit of flesh peeking out between the folds of his underwear. She exhaled and inhaled deeply not realizing she had been holding her breath.

Metatron moved to lean back on his arms and watch. He could feel a wave of lust and impatience roll through his body, but he wasn’t about to give in. He told himself it was a way to combat being human, but deep down he knew it wasn’t. It’d do him no good to overpower her. She obviously wanted it, but that might hurt his chances for later encounters. He told himself that reason was purely human and focused back on Alice. She had fished his dick from his jeans and while she had zero tact, it did feel good to have someone else’s hands touching him.

Alice took a moment to take in the details with her eyes and her hands. Metatron was maybe 5-6 inches, the skin oddly soft. The rest of the male body is typically rugged, but if his dick wasn’t also rock hard, it would feel delicate. Alice ran her fingers around the tip, under the tip, down the large vein that ran to the base. She couldn’t reach or see his balls from here, but...  


“OH BALLS!” Alice jumped away from Metatron tossing her hands up. “A condom!” Metatron was shocked by the outburst, but recovered fast.  


“I have some in my side drawer.” Metatron stood up and opened the drawer. Alice couldn’t see what was in it, but he pulled out a box of opened condoms.”  


“What the… how? Why?” Alice had never once bought those and she was 100% sure anything the old Men of Letters might have had was long out of date.  


“Castiel. I may be a terrible man, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet my own needs in the communal shower. These are easier to deal with than the good ‘ole sock or tissue methods.” Metatron sat the box on top of the side table. “We don’t need these yet, unless you have a disease…”  


“I’m clean I promise!” Alice waved her hands frantically. She still felt light headed from the sex haze, but embarrassment was starting to creep back in.  


“Alright, now where were we?” Metatron smiled as he dropped his pants and underwear down at the same time. The bed was the right height for Alice to now be face to face with Metatron’s cock. He had moved himself close enough for her to handle it, but not so close to be suffocating. Alice wanted to keep exploring his man bits with her hands, but she couldn’t ignore the burning urge to stick him into her mouth.  


She led with her tongue and was as gentle as possible as she took the first few inches into her mouth. The taste and smell where underwhelming. It wasn’t that Metatron smelled bad, a little sweaty, but the musk wasn’t what she thought it would be. His skin had a tinge of salt to it, again sweat probably. As far as taste went Alice might as well have been licking the back of his hand. As far as the rest of her senses she was ecstatic. Just the pure erotic nature of their encounter was enough to keep her fire going. She continued to work her mouth down to his base.  


Metatron felt both pleasure and torture. Oh all the terrible awful things he wanted to do right now. She was going so slow and so awkwardly. It was as if the purest of pleasures was just one lick to the right or left. He opened his eyes and stared at a pile of books trying to read the spines. Anything to distract himself from his own thoughts. Just let her play for a minute, let her gain some confidence, you can throat fuck her some other time. He gently laid a hand on top of her hair and tried to relax. After a few more strokes and licks he pushed her away.  


“Take your pants off and lay on your back.” Alice complied tossing her pants to the side. Laying back on the bed she was slightly worried when Metatron moved onto the bed with her without a condom. That worry was replaced by a second one when she realized what was going between her legs was not his dick, but his face. She covered her face and whispered a “No” as she felt Metatron pull away her panties and push his unshaved face against her thighs. This was the part of foreplay she dreaded. As she felt his tongue get to work she remembered every terrible hentai she ever had the misfortune of reading. The cliche ‘no it’s dirty down there’ line. The meek resistance the girl always gave. Oh how Alice made fun of the trope with everyone else. Oh how wow wow wow did this feel amazing.  


Metatron had channeled all his terrible thoughts into eating Alice out. It didn’t matter how good of a job he did since he was likely her first for this too. Just lick and flick and maybe add in a few fingers in a second. Metatron let himself space out occasionally looking up at Alice’s face. She had covered her face with his pillow about thirty seconds in which was a shame. He wanted to watch and see what faces she made. Oh well. In a few seconds he will get to watch her. Watch her squirm under him. Feeling her legs twitch and finding himself more focused on not suffocating Metatron knew it was time. The whole start to now had lasted maybe five maybe ten minutes.  


Alice sighed in relief when she felt Metatron pull away. She was close, so close to climax, but wasn’t comfortable enough to reach it. Peeking out from under the pillow she could see Metatron putting on the condom. The relief she felt was washed away with adrenaline. This was it. She thought the moment would feel less special the older she got, and she was right. Losing her virginity was no big deal. She had broken herself in years ago. The anxiousness she felt now was sharing what had become a private event with another human. She was about to argue with herself over if Metatron counted as human, but he had ripped away the pillow tossing it well out of her reach.  


“Time to get rid of these.” Metatron pulled his shirt off and helped Alice get out of hers and her bra. There they were, completely naked and with nothing Alice could hide herself with. Metatron positioned himself between her legs pausing for a second with a smile on his face. “I want you to look. Watch as I enter you.”  


Alice watched as Metatron pushed into her. She felt him slide in the same way she had slid toys into herself before, but this was different. The rush she felt go up her spine when he was pushed in to the base was unreal. She had watched the entry as instructed, but couldn’t herself as she closed her eyes and arched in Metatron.  


Metatron pulled back slowly then pushed in again starting up a slow pace. He could tell he wasn’t going to last long even distracted by other thoughts. Keeping the pace he leaned into Alice kissing her deep. Everything about her was soft. Her hair, her lips, her body. He admitted to himself for a brief moment that this encounter wasn’t entirely physical and there might be some attraction on his end.  


When Metatron leaned in for the kiss Alice wrapped her arms around his neck and was startled for a moment as she felt a rough leather against her arms. She had forgotten about the hellhound necklace. Metatron’s intrusive tongue distracted her before she could think more about it. The deeper he kissed her the faster he trusted and the hotter she felt. She could feel the two of them break out in a sweat, their bodies rubbing it into each other as thoughts were replaced by fiery pleasure. Alice could tell she was close to climax and hoped against all hope Metatron would be able to hold on a bit longer.  


Metatron pulled Alice in tighter shoving his face into her neck as he felt himself start to reach orgasam. He could feel her body shaking and hear her gasp for breath as he bit her neck as a last ditch effort to bring her to climax as he felt himself reach his own. He tried to frantically thrust a few more times, but he was done and overcome with a great sense of release. He could feel Alice tremble under him as he loosened his grip. She inhaled deeply now that he wasn’t crushing her, small tremors shook through her body.  


Alice was certain Metatron wouldn’t pull it off, but he bit her! The sensory overload was what she needed to reach her own climax. The fresh breath of air was wonderful as she watched Metatron roll to sit on the edge of the bed. Her body shook lightly as she let the reality of the situation sink in. Alice stopped herself from spiraling into another self-doubt and hateful chain of thought. Just for once let something be nice. She wanted to reach out and touch Metatron, but would that be too personal? They really should talk out their situation a bit more later. He stood up to dispose of the condom before Alice could reach out.  


“I’m sure you always imagined something more glamorous, but now you can move forward and be as mildly disappointed as the rest of the human race.” Metatron put his underwear back on, but didn’t bother with anything else.  


“I’m an adult not a horny teenager.” Alice sat up and started to gather her things. Her head was still buzzing, but her main goal now was a shower. She wasn’t sure whose sweat she was covered with and now that the sex haze was starting to fall it kinda grossed her out. “Either way I wouldn’t mind we do this again, uhm, after we talk it out.” Alice had slipped on her shirt and nothing else. There was no reason to be modest now with the two of them alone. It’s not like she was about to run into...  


“Castiel!” Metatron had opened the bedroom door to let Alice out only to find the trenchcoat angel standing there about to knock.  


“Good, you are both here. The Winchesters will be back tomorrow and they have questions for Metatron about the Darkness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me nearly two years to write this chapter. Two. I have had some DrAmAtIc LiFe ChAnGeS, but life seems to have settled down! It only took me a few days to write ch3 and hopefully I can knock out the rest of this story before we all die :D


	3. A Terrible Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super short compared to the last two, but is NOT the standard for the following chapters. Fair warning, I haven't seen the season or two this fanfic is based in since they aired. I'm going by shoddy memory and the wiki. Times and placements will be changed (as is expected with throwing an OC into the mix), so please be gentle.

Alice sat in a corner of the library doing her best to not exist as she listened to the four men argue. Castiel seems to not have told the brothers about catching Alice and Metatron post-sex. At first she thought they could play it off, but after her shower Castiel mentioned something about ‘getting to enjoy sex once as a human’ and was ‘happy for the two of you.’ She knew Castiel would let it slip eventually, not that she begrudged the angel for his lack of tact or ever asked him to keep it a secret.

“You didn’t think telling us she is God’s. G. O. D. The man himself’s sister?!” Dean was yelling at Metatron for withholding information. Although he always seemed to either be yelling or asleep. No middle ground with Dean, just a lot of raw emotion.

“I didn’t think it was a very important piece of information.” Metatron laughed shrugging off Dean’s continued accusations.

“What do you mean it wasn’t important?” Sam broke into the argument. “That’s the exact thing we’ve been trying to find out! Was she a demon? A leviathan? Something new?”

“How do we deal with her?” Dean slammed his hand on the table.

“I don’t know!” Metatron held up both his hands in defense. “God told me a lot of things, but that’s not one of them. All I know is he had to lock her away in order to create this.” he spread his arms out wide.

“Are you sure you aren’t missing something? Maybe forgot something?” Castiel asked earnestly.

“Forget the word of God?” Metatron tapped his forehead, “Not a chance. It’s all up here and I remember it as clearly as the day I wrote it. I promise you I know nothing more!” Dean sighed and started to pace around.

“This is a waste of our time. We should have stayed out there and kept digging.”

“Now now, just because God didn’t tell me anything doesn’t mean that I don’t have a few ideas rattling around.” Metatron sat down and looked hard at Dean.

“Well, are you going to share with the rest of the class?” Dean kept standing, but leaned on the chair across from Metatron.

“Lucifer…”

“No, no, no. Whatever you are thinking is a bad idea.” Sam moved to stand to the right of Metatron, Castiel was to the left.

“Your choice. We know ways, we HAVE ways to defeat Lucifer, but we’ve got nothing on God’s sister. It’s not a complicated plan. Get Lucifer, get some back up, banish the Darkness, piece of cake!”

“That’s a terrible plan.” Castiel was getting more agitated.

“I never said it was a good one, but so far it’s your only one.” Metatron shrugged, “It doesn’t matter to me if you save the world or not this time. I’m ready to die. It’s either die or keep being human. As charming as they are I can’t say I enjoy being one too much.”

“You seemed to be enjoying it last ni-” Castiel started to speak, but Metatron cut him off.

“Yes last night I had a wonderful time with a set of records, but it’s nothing I couldn’t enjoy as an angel.” Sam shook his head looking at the ground and Dean squinted his eyes at Metatron. He knew something was up, but he brushed it off.

“Whatever. We aren’t out of time yet. Tomorrow we’ll get back on the road and give it one last shot.”

“Whatever you say, Dean.” Metatron stood up and went back to his room. Sam, Dean, and Castiel stood together for a second whispering before going off into different parts of the bunker. Alice had almost let herself feel relaxed when Sam popped back up.

“Hey, uh, Alice. Any luck with the hellhound necklace?” Alice sat up a little straighter and did her best to not look too relaxed. She was sure this whole darkness thing was important and death seems to be the end game, but parts of this life still felt surreal.

“Nothing yet. It would help if I knew any language other than English.” Alice laughed.

“Yeah I get it. I’m sorry we haven’t been able to focus on it, but I’m sure you understand.” Sam patted his pants with both hands with a motion that felt awkward.

“My head is still spinning from all this lore and… Well, it sounds like if you and your brother don’t figure this out I won’t need to worry about the collar anyway.” Alice tried to play off the looming doom as a joke, but it fell flat.

“Yeah, well anyway keep up the good work. If you happen to come across anything about Darkness on accident let us know, okay?”

“Sure thing.” Alice smiled at Sam as he walked away. He never seemed to be 100% there when he talked to her. She couldn’t tell if it was her fault, or if there was something else going on in that head of his. She shrugged it off. He wouldn’t be the first and probably won't be the last to pay half-attention to her.

The rest of the day went by with no more arguments. At least none between Metatron and anyone else in the bunker. Sam and Dean seemed to always be locked in a small argument. Must be a brother or a sibling thing Alice didn’t understand. Dinner was pizza and beer courtesy of the brothers. It is one of the easiest way to feed a small group of people. Sam and Dean took their showers early and were in bed by 8pm. The second both of their doors were closed Alice got the breadsticks she had put aside for Metatron and headed to his room. He hadn’t left since their talk earlier except to use the toilet. Alice would have brought him food earlier, but she was afraid it would betray what had happened between them to the brothers.

Alice knocked lightly, but got no response. She knocked a little harder and still nothing. He must have fallen asleep, but Alice couldn’t help the hurt feeling she felt as she took the breadsticks back to the kitchen. He will probably find them later tonight or make something for himself as he normally does with the brothers around. Alice took her own shower, played a few games on her computer, then went to bed.

 

Extra:

Metatron never said he hated humans. In fact he loved them dearly. He loved the things they created, the songs they wrote, the words in (most of) their books, but it was a general love. He may have a few songs or books that he favored, but there wasn’t a single item in any category that he loved above all else. No, his complaint about humans was their annoying uselessness at unnecessary times. Their useless wars, useless hate, useless borders. Metatron wanted them to be quiet and enjoy what God made for them.

But as annoying as humans can get, they were not as terrible as the angels. The second God left they lost their minds. They scrambled to find order, to fill the hole. Humans didn’t even blink. They took the loss in stride and moved on. The angels want to claim it’s because God gave the humans free will. They’re idiots. Castiel is a gullible waste of grace, but at least he caught on. Angels have had just as much freedom they’re just blind to it. That’s why Metatron left heaven when God did. He found himself a quiet patch of land, bribed a few humans, and lived his life.

Would he change anything he has done? Maybe a few small details here and there, but Metatron had no regrets. Being human now serves him right for abandoning the heaven life. It’s almost poetic. He just wished it was in a slightly fresher body so he had more time. Going from eons to decades can be startling. That is, if he never gets his grace back. Or manages to keep himself and Alice alive. Or actually attempt to remove the hellhound necklace. Oh dear sweet Alice. She was perfect. Not by society’s standards, but in a mundane way. Still young and full of potential, but all she wants is to be comfortable, indulge a little, then die. Did he love her? On a general level the same with music and books, but perhaps it was time he found a human or two to favor above the rest.

A soft knock on his bedroom door snapped Metatron back to reality. It was Alice. No one else would have knocked as gently. He thought about answering it, but thought better of it. The Winchesters had struck a nerve and he didn’t trust himself not to be rude. She knocked again a little harder, but a third knock never happened. Metatron entertained a few ideas for the next few hours, but let them slip away as he slipped into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 should hit some time before the New Year. I've changed the plot from here on and it's taking me a second to find my stride. But I promise I wont disappear for another year again D:


	4. White Walled In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More M+ action with some sap and a side of story line I guess.

Out there somewhere dawn was breaking through the curtains of a second story window. The light snow resting on the branches of the tree outside of this window. Perhaps the house itself had Christmas lights that had developed a light icy coating overnight. Christmas was 22 days away so it wasn’t unreasonable to imagine a scene like that. What greated Alice was not a beam of sunlight through a window, but the cold gray walls of the bunker. She could feel the cold depths of seasonal depression curling up in her chest. Maybe next time she should get caught up with hunters from Florida or Hawaii. Heck, while she was in fantasy land she might as well wish for her own tropical island. Wandering to the kitchen Alice found a note left by Sam.  


“Left early to beat storm.  
Send Cas 4 food  
BBL”  


Alice was excited and depressed at the same time. Being alone with Metatron was getting more exciting, but being forced to stay inside by a storm was upsetting. She didn’t plan on going anywhere anyway aside from food runs, but now that the option has been taken away she was unreasonably upset by it. What she needed was coffee.  
Alice expected Metatron or Castiel to pop up while she made the coffee, but neither one showed up. She did check the fridge. Either Metatron fed himself last night, or Dean took the leftovers with them. She could feel her face flush up when she thought about the other night. She was too on edge to reflect on it yesterday, but she had all day today if not the next week to think on it. Or to have sex again. Alice blushed deeper. She might not be a horny teenager, but she was a horny adult.  
A jolt ran down Alice’s back from the base of her neck. What the hell? The sock wasn’t arousal, but an anxious feeling that something wasn’t right. Was it the hellhound necklace? Did the sex alter the bond? Alice left her cup on the table and slowly walked down the hallway towards Metatron’s bedroom. The shocked didn’t happen again, but she could hear commotion from behind his door. Alice knocked gently,  


“Hey, uh, Marv, are you okay in there? I, I felt some-” Metatron swung the door open. “Thing.”  


“Call me Metatron.”  


“But I thought-” Metatron hushed Alice.  


“Don’t think. You said you felt something?” Looking behind Metatron Alice could see smoke and she thought she could smell something burning.  


“Y-yeah I guess. A shock ran down my back from my neck.”  


Metatron put a hand to his neck while walking away leaving his door open. The smoke had mostly cleared, but the smell lingered. Alice wanted to ask more, but felt awkward trying to find a way to interject into Metatron’s low mumblings.  


“I was telling the truth, you know.” Metatron stopped at the other end of his room.  


“I believe you?” Alice wasn’t sure what he was referring to.  


“The truth about The Darkness and the Necklace, but I was struck with a rare burst of motivation last night.” Metatron spun around on his heels to face Alice. “I dare not get mixed up with The Darkness, but I guess I can start reading all those books not in English.” Metatron sighed. “It’s a shame I don’t have my grace. I could just touch your forehead and you would know all the languages I do.” Alice was stunned. She didn’t know that was ever an option and now she wanted nothing more in life than for Metatron to get his grace back.  


“Thank you? But uh, what was with that shock?” Metatron rolled his eyes and motioned to a pile of ash on the floor.  


“I was trying an old spell I had read ages ago. I may not have my grace, but I can still cast a few sparks. It was nothing special, just a disenchantment spell, but alas this damned hellhound necklace is more irritating than the hellhound it probably came from!” Metatron shooed Alice into the hall and closed the door behind them. “I need coffee, breakfast, and then we can get to those books.”  


Alice felt a little shocked. She wasn’t about to call out Metatron on the new attitude, but it felt weird. Breakfast was simple, eggs and toast with more coffee. The Winchesters eat like trucks and Castiel hadn’t returned yet with more food. Metatron had taken a look outside when Alice was cooking the eggs and came back shaking his head.  


“It’s a wall of white. White, white, white. Almost as sterile as heaven.” Metatron mumbled the last sentence, but Alice still caught it.  


After breakfast Metatron dug into the dustier parts of the library as promised. He read with a speed that wasn’t human flipping through volumes in minutes not days. Every now and then he would mumble something, but nothing important. Alice stuck with the two books she had been working on the last week. One couldn’t be read without the other, it was as if someone had bound the even pages in one book and the odd in another. Actually, given the circumstances, it made sense. The subject was arcane spells accompanied by a less than brief history of each one. She expected spells that would kill or destroy things, maybe turn items into gold, but all she was finding were spells that alter appearances or deter different monsters.  


Alice was seconds away from dozing off in her chair when she felt Metatron kiss her lips. It was a short, gentle kiss, nothing as heated as two nights ago.  


“I thought we were going to talk first.” Alice opened her eyes and stared at Metatron who was trying his best to pretend he didn’t know what she was talking about.  


“What is there to talk about? Our feelings? Unless you are about to confess your undying love for me we can stick to the simple things like consent.” Alice tried not to react to the love comment, but she could feel herself losing as her face blushed.  


“No confessions, I just ah, um.” Alice wasn’t sure how to word this without sounding too weird or lude. “Wanted to make sure you didn’t want to do any weird fetish stuff.”  


“Fetish stuff?” Metatron laughed. “No worries there my dear. I don’t think this body of mine can handle half the Kama Sutra let alone anything like bondage.” he leaned into kiss Alice again, this time on her cheek and whispered, “All I want right now is to be inside of you.”  


Alice could hear her brain snap in half as the rest of her body flushed up. Her heart pounded in her ears as she pulled Metatron into her for another kiss. Deeper this time and full of the heat she had been trying to ignore.  


“I need you.” Alice broke the kiss breathing heavily.  


“Right now? Are you sure?” Metatron smiled down at her. Backing a step  


“Yes!” Alice jumped out of the chair turning to head to one of their rooms when she stopped short. Standing between the library area and the rest of the bunker was Castiel holding grocery bags. She was stunned into place unable to speak up. Alice was sure death was her only escape from the embarrassment.  


“The groceries.” Castiel lifted both arms. “I assume you want to be left alone?”  


“No! I mean, no. You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.” Alice talked to the floor more than she talked to Castiel. “We can, uh, this isn’t important.”  


“Very well. I will go put these away. You will have to make your own lunches, though.” Castiel turned and walked away unphased. Alice turned to Metatron who had been standing behind her. He had a smug look on his face, arms crossed over his chest.  


“You... “ Alice was furious.  


“Hey, I asked if you were sure! It’s not my fault you didn’t hear Castiel say hi.” Metatron held his hands up in defense trying not to laugh.  


“You suck.” Alice narrowed her eyes. “I’ll make lunch, you keep reading those books.” Alice stormed off before Metatron could respond. She wasn’t angry at Metatron, but at herself. She was so caught up in the moment she had dropped her defenses. At this point they might as well invite Castiel to join them.  


Alice was halfway to the kitchen when the thought made her stop. Castiel was attractive, no denying that. She had never been so consistently surrounded by attractive men who talked to her, yet they weren’t the ones she thought about at night. Even before her and Metatron hooked up the other night she had never once thought of them sexually. Alice wanted to push more blame onto the hellhound necklace, but something in her gut told her that wasn’t entirely true. Magic was definitely at work here, but not on this. These feelings were 100% Alice’s and that scared her.  


Castiel hung around for a few hours after lunch, but didn’t stay for dinner. He said the Winchesters needed his help and poofed away before Alice or Metatron could respond. A small nap, a medium dinner, and a large pile of books later neither Alice or Metatron made another move. Alice was still burned from earlier and assumed Metatron was taking his time as a way to tease her. She sighed in defeat. The night isn’t over yet, but she might as well go shower.  


“I’m going to shower.” Alice bookmarked where she was stopped in both books. She was nearly at the end of them. Metatron mumbled a small acknowledgement not looking up from the book in his hand. He was taking this one slowly, something must have caught his interest.  


The hot water hit Alice as she stood there taking her time to warm up her bones. She wasn’t sure if the bunker had a water heater or where the water came from, or the electricity, or their internet connection, or anything really. A bunch of dead guys with resources built the place and somehow it had been left alone. Alice had these thoughts almost every shower and in almost every shower she promised herself to go look around. It never happened. She will dry off, put on pajamas, and refuse to leave the comfort of her bed. A soft knock brought her out of her spiraling thoughts.  


“Mind if I join you?” Metatron was standing nude in the doorway. Alice couldn’t respond as she did her best not to look down. He walked over to one of the shower heads next to Alice and turned it on. The shower heads were close enough that Alice felt the initial burst of cold water before the steaming hot water worked its way through the pipe.  


Metatron went under the water and acted like this was normal while building up a lather on his loofah. Were all angels like that, or was this a Metatron specific quirk. Alice had no doubt in her mind Castiel would think nothing of a shared shower. Metatron’s normally curly hair was slicked back against his head giving him a hot sleek look. She felt her face flush up as she realized she had been staring. Should she offer to wash his back? The idea felt cliche, but she wanted to touch him badly. Her hands moved before she could stop herself.  


“Let me get your back for you.”  


“Only if you let me get yours.” Metatron smiled handing Alice his loofah before turning his back towards her.  


The showers were better lit than Metatron’s bedroom was. Alice was able to get a good look at his back as she scrubbed it, a few scars here and there. Some back hair, but nothing atrocious. His skin had a soft leathery feel to it. A texture she hadn’t noticed the other night. Alice handed the loofah back.  


“Your turn.” Metatron hung his loofah on a hook before grabbing Alice’s from her hook. His hands were gentle as he started on her shoulders. Working his way down he slipped his hands forward to cup Alice’s breasts. Alice didn’t protest arching her back in response. She felt him lightly pinch her nipples before sliding his hands back to her back continuing their soapy trail downwards. The sensation left her body tingling. Rational thought left her ahs Metatron’s hands worked their way down her back.  


When Metatron reached her ass he cupped a cheek with one hand while hanging her loofah back up with the other. His actions pushed her against the stone wall. Alice moaned as she felt the cool stone against her skin and his hand now tracing its way to her clit. The heat of the moment had fully taken her over. The feeling of wet skin on skin, Metatron’s soft touch, the hardness of his dick pressing against her leg as he leaned into her to get a better angle. The arousal she had felt before lunch was back in full force. His fingers toyed with her as she ached for him. Craved him. Wanted him inside of her.  


Metatron pulled his hands away and nudged Alice to spread her legs. Alice complied bracing herself against the stone wall. He had moved them out from under the water and were standing almost in a corner. The stone was colder here, but Alice didn’t care. She was focused on Metatron rubbing himself against her wet lips. With some care Metatron pushed himself into Alice feeling a completeness overwhelm him in a way he had never felt before. Alice felt it too. Felt Metatron fill her up before pulling back and pushing in again. A deep wave of ecstasy crashed over her body. Alice knew this wasn’t normal, but didn’t care. Deep in her subconscious Alice had realized there was no condom. The bare skin on skin added the thrill of risk to their acts. In minutes Alice found herself gasping and moaning as she climaxed, her skin feeling like it was covered in static.  


What Metatron saw that Alice’s closed eyes didn’t were the literal sparks of magic that danced between their bodies. The sparks lasted a few seconds before disappearing. Something was definitely happening, but Metatron was not in the frame of mind to stop it. He had been taken over by his own bliss. He felt like he had melted into Alice. The heat from her body was overwhelming as he did his best to keep his own climax at bay. He didn’t want this to end, not yet. Metatron’s thrusts became erratic all too soon as he fought back, but he knew he was seconds away from losing. Through either magic or his own selfishness Metatron didn’t pull out. He slammed into Alice feeling his climax mix with the arnace as sparks of magic danced up his spine. A wet smack hit the floor as the two lovers panted heavily. Metatron had pulled back leaving Alice to come back to reality, his hands rubbing his neck.  


“It, it came off…” Metatron pulled his hands from his neck then kneeled down to feel around on the floor. It didn’t take long for his fingers to find the rough, wet leather of the hellhound necklace. Alice had stepped her way back under the hot water not sure how to process what just happened. First, she probably needed to ask Castiel for Plan B. Or hope against all hope the weather clears up by morning. Second, if the collar is off that means they were no longer bound. She didn’t like that at all. Metatron wrapped the hellhound necklace in his towel before rejoining Alice.  


“Lets keep this our secret for now.” Metatron smiled before pulling Alice into a hug. “I don’t know what happened, or why, or if this is me or the magic talking, but I’m not ready to leave you. Not yet.” Alice hugged Metatron tightly.  


“No, not yet. I’m not ready to go back, to leave-” Alice couldn’t finish the sentence before her words caught in her throat. Whatever magic just happened was powerful. She felt bonded to Metatron in a way that broke her heart to imagine being without him.  


“We should shower off and go to bed. We can talk about this in the morning.” Metatron broke the embrace stepping under his own shower head. Alice nodded in agreement and began to wash herself off. The two of them finished in silence.  


No words were spoken between them, but they knew they wouldn’t be sleeping alone tonight. The smell of failed spells still lingered in Metatron’s room sending them to Alice’s. Metatron made sure to tuck the hellhound necklace deep in the back of his drawer before joining Alice in her bed. It didn’t take long for them to be caught up in each other again. Riding the magic high they fucked again and again Metatron didn’t pull out. Alice didn’t bother to ask believing whatever damage had been done could not be made worse.  


That night Alice felt a complete satisfaction she didn’t know was possible. She wanted to stop time, or die, anything to keep what she felt going. Their two bodies under the blankets built up heat, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to stop touching Metatron, to stop being with him, to stop… loving him. The revelation warmed her from the inside as she tried to snuggle in tighter. They weren’t sure how long they wanted to keep their new secret, but they did keep comfort in believing they were the only two that knew.  


What they didn’t know was out there somewhere a third person was very aware of their actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied last chapter. Turns out the holidays are crazy busy. But behold. I got a new chapter out within the month! I imagine I am roughly 2-3 chapters away from being finished. I didn't plan on this becoming an entire novel so it wont. I have a few other stories I want to write out, non-Supernatural stories. I don't have anymore of those planned at the moment. WTB more hot daddy action in Season 13 please!
> 
> *Gets handed a teenager* This... This isn't what I want at all.


End file.
